Parenting 101

All in a day’s work 5: Wise quips courtesy a kindergartener

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All In A Day's Work

I have not done this series in about 8 months. Once sonny started talking non-stop, it was pretty difficult keeping track of all his wise quips.

But of late, he has turned into our very own home jester/entertainer. And what better way to journal those amusing wisecracks if not through this blog. So here’s a new installment of the things our son has said recently, all in a day’s work:

I will eat nothing

“What do you want for breakfast?” I ask our almost 5-year-old one morning.

“Nothing.” Pat, comes the reply.

“Ok, fine, nothing it is,” I say, tired of our daily food wars.

Ten minutes later he is back “I will eat nothing with bread, butter, jam and boiled egg.”

Yeah, kid. That’s exactly how I like to eat my nothings too!

Planet Addition

One day, I am trying to teach our son some basic addition.

“You have one apple and I give you two more. So now, you have a total of three apples. This is called addition. You add two numbers to get the sum.  Write it down: One Plus Two Equals Three.”

Our son stares at me for some time, then draws three scraggly circles: 0 + 0 = 0

“No, no! Write:1 + 2 = 3” I explain, repeating the apple example again.

He rolls his eyes and says out loud “Mercury Plus Venus Equals Earth.” Then redraws his scraggly circle equation.

“You cannot add planets together, it’s like comparing apples and oranges.” I am at a loss for words and not sure how to explain the concept correctly to him.

“Look at me!” He says writing below his scraggly planets “Mercury is planet number 1. Venus is planet number 2. Earth is planet number 3. So, Mercury plus Venus Equals Earth. One plus two equals three!” He concludes, triumphantly.

I stopped teaching him Addition from that day!

What is a burp?

I have been guilty of occasionally using funny incorrect words while talking to our son.

A burp used to be called a “bheu” until very recently at our home and a person’s behind was called a “bum-bum”. But now that he is growing up, I wanted to make sure he started using the correct words for everything.

So, when one day he said “Oops, I did a bheu,” I corrected him. “It’s called a burp.”

“A burp?” He asked.

“Yes, a burp is when you have trapped air in your stomach and it is released through your mouth with a sound,” I explained.

“So, burp is passing air?” He asked.

“Yes, it is, but just call it a burp, okay? Because passing air is a polite way to say fart.” I explained further.

“Okay.” He replied. I was not sure he fully understood, but he stopped asking questions. What more could a mom ask for?

The next time he burped, he ran straight to me and confidently stated, “I did a mouth fart! Oh, I mean a burp. Burp means passing air from my mouth and not from my bum-bum.”

And with that, our lesson of the day ended.

How old are you?

Our son still does not tell his age properly. So, I took it upon myself to teach him to state his age properly before his next birthday.

“How old are you?” I ask him.

“How old are YOU?” He shoots back.

“I am thirty-five years old. And you are soon going to be five years old.” I reply.

“So, tell me, how old are you?” I ask him again.

“I am not old! YOU ARE OLD, I am just a grown up.” He yells angrily at me. Then he clams up.

End of lesson.

Thanks kid for the subtle hint. As if telling you my age was not enough to remind me of “Oldielocks” status 😉

The curious case of the missing CPU

I am reading an introductory science book to our son about computer and its various parts. Every time I finish reading about a part, our son runs to his brand new desktop and matches the photo in the book to his desktop.

“I have a keyboard!”

“I have a mouse!”

“I have a monitor!”

“I have a UPS!”

“I have a CPU…oops, I don’t have a CPU, where is my CPU? My CPU is missing.”

I try to explain to him that his desktop is the latest model and its CPU is inbuilt inside the monitor. But he is not satisfied.

“Papa forgot to get me a CPU. Call him, we need to go shopping. I must have my CPU.” He is adamant.

Finally, an idea comes to my head and I explain “The computer guy is a magician too. He shrank the CPU and fit it inside the monitor.”

“Oh, that makes sense!” He said and just like that the curious case of the missing CPU was closed. Thank god that in their little worlds, magic and science still mix so seamlessly!

That’s all for this installment of “All in a day’s work”. I am not sure whether I will write a next one or not, but considering the crazy things our son has been saying lately, it is a distinct possibility.

But now it’s your turn to share. Tell me about some of the funny, amusing things your little ones have said recently that made you laugh out loud.


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