Up until recently, my son was not quite “into” Legos and I was happily oblivious to the trouble that they were. Unfortunately, my luck ran out and I saw my son falling head-over-heels in love with Legos 3-4 days ago. Me, being his inadvertent partner in crime, rather play, had no other option left but to tow the line with his newfound object of affection. And ever since that fateful afternoon, we have been playing Legos and Legos alone every waking hour of the day. And just like that, I have become privy to knowledge which many parents before me have painfully discovered: “We all hate Legos!”
Here are top 8 reasons why:
1. They are lethal
Let’s get the most obvious reason out of the way, shall we? If you have not seen the many Facebook and Twitter posts from parents talking about the middle of the night “Lego Stepping Accidents”, then let me just tell you this: It happens more often than you think and it’s excruciating.
Legos are tiny, sometimes transparent (Read invisible even in daylight), hard plastic things with sharp corners. And I don’t know which is more painful, stepping on one or trying to pry apart two pieces stuck together, with giant mommy-hands.
2. They cost a fortune
Buying Legos is not for the faint-hearted. Even the tiniest of the tiny “feather-light” box – yes, the one that you have to shake vigorously close to your ears to make sure it is not empty – will cost you big bucks. You may get tempted as a rookie Lego enthusiast to buy the cheaper imitations (I may or may not have done this 😉 ), but beware! They are ten times more lethal than the originals. On the plus side, they are quite brittle and you may be able to convince your child to throw them out after day one.
3. They are addictive
If you have the right marker genes, Legos can become far more addictive and habit-forming than your preferred drink of choice. Move over caffeine and wine.
For the past couple of days, I have lived, breathed, slept and even dreamt Legos. I even look the part of a typical Lego junkie. My hands twitch when I am not building and my mind constantly wanders over to the architectural flaws of my “soon-to-be” masterpiece. My biggest nightmare ever since has been that my son will “hulk out” and stomp on hours and hours of hard work in a fit of rage when things don’t shape up to his vision.
4. They are a time stealing invention
Talking of hours, you will have no clue where the time will fly once you start building. Of late, our schedule slippage for lunch, dinner, bedtime, and every other activity has been hours. Yes, hours, not minutes.
“Just 5 more minutes” you’d try to convince yourself, but before you know it, you’d have sacrificed many, many hours and days to this hopeless pursuit.
5. Two words – Missing Piece
No matter how careful you are and how painstakingly you store the microscopic pieces from a set, there will always be that one tiny crucial piece missing which will make your masterpiece gawk at you questioningly and you will have this gnawing sense of incompleteness flood your entire being. You may even daydream about finding that last piece and whispering “You complete me” to it.
6. Another two words – Extra Piece
I cannot decide which is more horrifying – Missing a piece or discovering an extra piece which doesn’t quite fit and which can’t quite be branded and tossed aside as a spare. An extra piece can trigger the kind of OCD, both in parents and children alike, which can only be cured by demolition and recreation of the artifact from scratch. So, go ahead and say bye-bye to the next two hours of your life.
7. They are microscopic in size
Have I mentioned yet that they are teeny-tiny? Well besides the obvious functional problem they pose for grownups to handle them during construction and storage, their miniature size makes it almost impossible to reach them under the bed or in those nooks and crannies of the house where they get lodged accidentally or intentionally without pulling a muscle.
8. They bring out the worst in you
The day the first box of Legos was unveiled in our home I saw my husband and son engage in a full-blown battle of wills about which piece should go where. I laughed at them, especially at my husband because he was behaving so irrationally.
“Pfft! What a baby!”, I said. I felt I was the only grownup in the house and chided him to behave like an adult!
Fast forward to yesterday – I fought with my son for a full half-an-hour because he wanted to place the trees inside a building while I wanted to place them outside. In hindsight, I would say it was a very small creative difference – he saw them as Christmas trees while I saw them as regular trees.
Anyway, after my son had hulked out and dismantled the whole structure, I behaved even more childishly and pouted for another half-an-hour before finally getting back to “my precious” (No, not my son! Read #3 again). Yes, you guessed it – This was definitely not my finest parenting hour.
So, my dear parents, the day you pick up your first box of Legos at the toy store, heed my warning and try to remember why Legos will become the bane of your existence from that day forth. Still, if you must bring them home, then do tread with caution, literally.
Note: For the record, this post is meant to be a sarcastic post and so no, I don’t hate Legos. In fact, I enjoy playing with them a little too much! Also, I had written this post a few months back and somehow never got to the point of actually publishing it on FertileBrains till today. Just in case you are wondering, these days, my and sonny’s Lego fever has somehow settled down and we play Legos like regular people 🙂
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