NOTE: Today I am happy to introduce a new parenting voice for FertileBrains readers – that of Ian from the UK. Ian is here with us sharing some valuable anger management tips for dealing with a child when he is angry. Please give it a read and don’t forget to share your views in the comments section below.
Imagine this situation:
Your son is about to go out and play in the park. All his friends are waiting there for him and he is putting on his shoes to go outside. You ask him for the umpteenth time if he has finished his assignment and he nonchalantly says “No, not yet”. As a parent, you know that finishing his homework was a pre-requisite for him to go out. So you say firmly “You can’t go unless your homework is done.” and put your foot down.
So, your son has no other option but to relent. Your actions, though just, make him very angry as his evening is spoilt and now he has to stay put and get on with his assignment. For the next few hours, he does not utter a single word, sits idle in front of his desk, does not bother opening his notebooks and allows all the rage to build up. Imagine the level of outburst such pent up anger could bring!
So, what should you do in a situation like this? What should your strategy be to deal with your child when he/she is angry? Here are a few things to keep in mind and to teach anger management to your child in the process:
1. Avoid Aggressive Response
An aggressive response is the last thing to try when your child is angry. Never ever yell back or scold an angry child as this further aggravates the problem and wins you nothing. Try to calm things down instead.
2. Stay Away From Logic And Reasoning Till Things Are Back To Normal
An angry child won’t understand logic and reasons. He’s not mature enough to even listen to one during an angry bout. Rather, try a distraction tactic as this may calm him down a bit.
4. Respond Calmly And Gently
Anger is best diffused through a soothing response and cool demeanour. Take care of not going overboard by highlighting your own frustration and anger at the situation as this may make matters worse. If you yourself are not calm during an unpleasant experience, your child has no role model to imitate and your being upset will further aggravate his anger by reflection.
5. Never Ever Get Physical With The Child
The worst strategy would be to get physically aggressive with the child and let the anger boil to a tipping point. You would damage a lot of things, especially your child’s self-esteem and his trust in you if this route is ever adopted. So, keep a calm head and don’t let emotions get the better of you.
6. Don’t Give In
No matter how angry the child is, you should never give in to his demands, no matter how difficult it may seem at the time. If you give up on the situation and relent, your child will learn to use anger as a “strategy” in the future to have his own way all the time.
7. Don’t Resort To Harsh Punishments
It’d be a mistake to use harsh punishments to deal with an angry child. This strategy won’t work and the kid might feel angrier and more committed to causing tantrums.
8. Take A Break
If the child is angry and not relenting, you should take a break and leave the scene. Return back when you feel comfortable to deal with the situation again and make him known about your displeasure with his ways, but remember to always do this in a non-agitated fashion. Distance and space have a way of making things mellow down and when they do, don’t forget to make him understand your point of view and what made you feel bad about the whole affair.
In overall, your angry kid needs sensible handling and you should shun aggression. Let the anger recede with time. Sometimes, just walking up to him to hear his point of view and maybe letting him vent a little can do the magic.
So yes, going back to the hypothetical situation at the beginning of the post, go ahead and tap your angry child’s shoulder gently as soon as possible and calmly talk to him about his feelings, long before his anger spills over. It might just do the trick!
About Post Author
Ian Alam is a digital marketing enthusiast and has written many topics in the related field. He works with Jump In, which is counted among one of the Best Trampoline Park in the UK.
Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in this post are solely attributed to the guest post author. Unless explicitly stated in the post itself (with a FertileBrains stamp), the images used in the post are provided by the post author and have been used as such.